The Reconstruction of our Heart

Photograph of Reb Mimi Feigelson
Photograph of Reb Mimi Feigelson
Reb Mimi Feigelson

Reb Mimi Feigelson, is the Mashpiah Ruchanit (Spiritual Mentor) and Lecturer of Rabbinic Literature at the Ziegler School of Rabbinic Studies at the American Jewish University. (WWW.ZIEGLERTORAH.ORG)
She is an Orthodox - Israeli Rabbi and an international Chassidut teacher and story teller. She was the Associate Director of Yakar, Jerusalem and Director of its Women's Beit Ha'midrash.
In 2010 Reb Mimi was recognized by The Forward as one of the fifty most influential female Rabbis in the USA, and in 2011 was accepted to the Board of Rabbi's of Southern California as an independent Orthodox rabbi. Currently Reb Mimi has embarked on pursuing a Doctorate at HUC-JIR, titled: "On the Cusp of Life: From Scared to Sacred". It is an exploration of redefining funerals and cemeteries.

posted on March 8, 2010
Torah Reading
Haftarah Reading
Maftir Reading

The movement from last week's Torah portion to this week's Torah portion seems to me quite abrupt and hastened when you think of moving from a golden calf to a mishkan / tabernacle made of elements gold and silver and the most magnificent fabrics. I would have thought that more than anything there would be fear and trepidation in the attempt to create anything concrete that had to do with God's manifestation in the world.

And yet, it appears that the Torah unfolds a structure that enables first and foremost the reconstruction of our hearts, the dwelling place of our courage and faith.

The opening verse is a calling of gathering: "And Moshe gathered all the congregation of the children of Yisrael together..." (Shmot/Exodus 35:1). The first steps must be gathering and bringing together. One without the other would not be sufficient. A people that lost their way, a people that one of its tribes was commanded to go through the camps of the other tribes and weed the servers of the golden calf, are a people that first and foremost need to be gathered. How shattering that first experience must have been - one moment dancing around a golden calf in fervor and the next moment, a moment of wrath. Once they are brought to a gathering place - both physical and emotional - the next level of work is to bring them 'together'. How is that done? By making them sit together...

Moshe brings the children of Yisrael together and then shares with them the commandment of Shabbat. Nowhere to run to, nowhere to go, nothing to do. No 'busyness' to hide behind. The shift from 'gathering' to coming 'together' will come by means of pausing.

This definitely seems to be one element of the Shabbat that is available to us: a moment to pause and 'recollect' ourselves after a week of being called to respond to the many voices that surround us. Some of them are holy, though some can surely be experienced as stiff competition for the golden calf... I have met many people that this thought of stopping scares them. They ask, "Then what, what do we do then?" And I say, "You don't 'do', you sit and 'be'. Instead of holding on, you allow your hands and mind to rest."

This Shabbat we will bless the new moon and the new month of Nissan that we will usher in on Tuesday. For many (myself included) this is a daunting thought with Pessach only two weeks later... But this Shabbat seems like the true beginning of the preparations needed. "It is possible to sit at your sedertable, in your spotless - chametz free home, with a heart full of chametz" were the words of my teacher R' Shlomo Carlebach before every Pessach. How can we promise ourselves that this won't be our heart that he was talking about? Cleansing one's heart, mind and soul are the foundations of true liberation. It is our choice whether we're going to spend this Pessach in Mitzrayim, God forbid, or allow ourselves both the glory and responsibilities of freedom.

This preparation is not much different from the physical cleaning of our homes. The first step will always be to pause, look around and evaluate what is in place, what needs to done, and how do we go about getting there. To run straight into the cleaning without some kind of inventory of what is and what isn't would make our work almost impossible. To try and mend our hearts, rid it from the many forms of internal chametz that we all carry, without taking note of the gifts that we carry as well, is a destructive recipe. That's what this Shabbat has to offer us. The transition from 'golden calf' to 'mishkan / tabernacle', from 'chametz' to 'Pessach', from 'internal turmoil' to 'piece of mind'; a time to pause, to gather ourselves, to bring our being together.

But Moshe doesn't leave us here. He knows that so much of our presence in the world is dependent and defined by our actions. It is here that we turn to the last step of this reconstruction process. What is it that you do when you return to the realm of action? What is it that the clarity gained in the moment of 'quiet' will draw you towards?

"And Moshe spoke to all the congregation of the children of Yisrael, saying, This is the thing which God commanded, saying, Take from among you an offering to God: whoever is of willing heart, let him bring it, an offering of God; gold and silver, and brass..." (Shmot/Exodus 35:-45). The first thing mentioned is gold! An offering to God accompanied with a willing heart, a gracious heart is the last step of our transition and transformation from a 'golden calf' to a 'mishkan / tabernacle'.

The mishkan / tabernacle is the place where God resides because it is crafted from our ability to transform our hearts. It is a physical manifestation of the internal work that we have done, each one of us as individuals, and together as a collective. The Ishbitzer Rebbe, Reb Modechai Yosef Lainer (1800-1853), says that our heart is God's journal. When God sees us walking with a 'willing heart', a 'gracious heart' in our interactions with each other, God documents it on our heart. Our hands, he teaches, are the extension of our heart. It is our deeds that manifest in the world the image of our heart. Our true liberation is in those moments that we can perpetuate the giving of "gold and silver and brass..." God therefore resides in the place that we are truly free - in the crevices of our heart, within the walls our mishkan / tabernacle.

There is a tradition among the Tzanzer Chassidim to place gold and silver and jewelry on the seder table. It was a way of manifesting their freedom - the ability to share ones riches. I follow this tradition at the beginning of the sedersthat I lead. I ask everyone to share the 'riches' that they are bringing to the table.

May this Shabbat be the beginning of this process. May we have the faith and courage to pause, to sit. May we find the willfulness and graciousness of our hearts. May we bring it to the seder table where ever it is we will be. May our seder tables stand in the world as God's mishkan / tabernacle.

Shabbat shalom and a Pessach of freedom.