In the traditional world that I grew up in we were taught early on to choose a rabbinic authority to whom we could pose our halachic questions. My first Rav to assume this position was the Rav of my school. He was the most immediate and accessible, therefore seemed to be the obvious choice. He lead me through my early teens. My second Rav was an important chaplain in the Israeli army and the father of the object of a major crush of mine. For my late teens through my mid twenties those seemed to be the most important qualifications in choosing a Rabbi (well, those reasons, and because when peaking over the mechitza during the morning prayers on Shabbat and Holidays, I was taken by his fervor while praying and his deep voice which filled the sanctuary). My third Rav, who journeyed with me into my thirties was chosen because of his expansive understanding of the role of Torah in our lives, as Orthodoxy and Modernity engage each other; his ability to create a personal space for people to grow in, and his gift of hearing the true question I posed - not necessarily the question I asked.
I often wondered how does one hone these gifts - especially the third one. This is something that I spend time with my students talking about - how to be 'holy listeners' - how to hear what is really being asked when someone comes to consult with them. Often the real question lies beneath all the spoken words.
This is why the lack of correlation between Moshe's question and God's answer caught my eye while reading this week's parashah. A group of people approach Moshe with a problem:
"And there were certain men that were defiled by the dead body of a man (tamei'im l'nefesh), that could not keep the Passover on that day. And they came before Moshe and before Aharon on that day, and those men said to him: We are defied by the dead body of a man (tamei'im l'nefesh); why are we kept back, that we may not offer an offering of God in its appointed season among the children of Yisrael? (Bamidbar/Numbers 9: 6-7)
Our Rabbi's have labored to decipher who these people were and how could it be that they found themselves impure so close to Pesach rendering them were unfit to offer the Pascal lamb? The answers that most intrigued me are found in the controversy in the Babylonian Talmud (Sukkah 25a) between Rabbi Akiva and Rabbi Yosi HaGlili - the first claiming that they were impure because they came across a "met mitzvah" (a corpse with no one to tend to their burial) and the latter saying that they were carrying the bones of Yoseph, fulfilling the promise to bring his bones to burial in Israel. What they both have in common is that they understand these men who are approaching Moshe as saying: "How could it be that while we are observing the commandments of God (either according to Rabbi Akiva or according to Rabbi Yosi HaGlili) we are penalized and cannot bring the korbanpessach (the Pascal lamb)?" Is it possible that observing a specific mitzvah can stand as a barrier between people and their Maker?
Moshe's response is immediate - when you don't know the answer to a halachic question, go ask your Rav:
Moshe said to them, stand still and I will hear what God will command concerning you." (Bamidbar/Numbers 9: 8)
Moshe has a hot line to God, interceding between God and the children of Israel. He listens to the children of Israel and then he listens to God. If you notice, Moshe does not repeat the question posed to him. God immediately responds:
God spoke to Moshe saying, "Speak to the children of Yisrael, saying, If any man of you or of your posterity shall be unclean by reason of a dead body (tamei l'nefesh) or be on a far off / distant journey (b'derech r'chokah), yet he shall keep the Passover to God; On the fourteen day of the second month .... (Bamidbar/Numbers 9: 9-11)
This is where my initial observation is conceived - Moshe is asked about people that are tamei l'nefesh, and God adds a category that was not addressed at all - someone who is on a distant journey / someone who is far off. What is God hearing that was not asked?
I would like to offer an alternative reading to the concept of tamei l'nefesh. Could it be that what they were saying to Moshe is, "Our soul is impure." We know what defines a body that becomes impure, but what does it mean for a soul to be impure? To this quandary God answers - someone who's life has taken them far from God, someone on a 'journey' that has distanced them from their Creator - this is what it means to be tamei l'nefesh.
In the same way that Avraham sees Har HaMoriyah (Mt. Moriah) from a distance:
"Then on the third day Avraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place from rachok (afar off)" (B'reishit/Genesis 22: 4)
In the same way the Yirmiyahu testifies:
"From rachok God has appeared to me, and an everlasting love I have loved you" (Yirmiyahu/Jeremiah 31: 2)
When God hears us saying: "I am tameil'nefesh, my soul is impure, how can it be that I have gone so far that I can not stand in front of You again? How can I have gone so far?" He is really hearing us say, "How can I make my way home, back to You?"
It is to this person that God responds:
If any one of you or of your posterity shall be unclean by reason of a corpse (tamei l'nefesh) or be on a far off / distant journey (b'derech r'chokah), yet he shall keep the Passover to God; On the fourteen day of the second month .... (Bamidbar/Numbers 9: 10-11)
God says, "There is no one who can't make their way back to Me. It may take time, it may be the following month, but there is a way within the context of the community that you will find your way to stand in front of Me once again."
How can we learn to hear those who challenge us, those who seemingly speak as angry 'outsiders', how can we hear them with God's ears? To know that what they are really saying is: "I'm so far / rachok from home, can you please help me make my way back?"
May we be blessed with people in our life that hear us with God's ears. May we listen our way into ears like that!
Shabbat shalom.