I know that I am supposed to address this week's torah portion, T'rumah, and I know that this week's torah portion is the home of generations of mystics (mishkan/tabernacle - sacred space; materials from the different realms of life - mineral, plant, animal; colors that can be aligned with the divine emanations/sefirot, to mention but a few of the dwelling spaces of these mystics) but I also know that I can't do this without holding on to last week's reading for one more moment. So please flip back for a moment so I can wed the opening verses of both weeks' Torah readings together.
The opening verses last week - in Mishpatim (Shmot/Exodus chapters 21-24) - deal with the lot in life of the Hebrew Servant and what happens to a servant that chooses to stay with their master. While this notion seems so foreign to many of us, I found myself praying that this be my lot in my life! This is how I read these verses (Shmot/Exodus 21:1-6):
"Dear God, a moment ago we stood at Mt. Sinai [I know that many of the commentaries will question when this Torah portion came into existence in regard to the actual revelation, but for this moment I'm going to be a literalist in the way this sacred moment is offered to us]. I know a moment ago you offered us a list of commandments, the same way a Master would command their Servants; setting down rules of right and wrong. But Master-of-the-World, I want a different relationship with You. One built also on love and service, not only a relationship of dominion. Yes, I want to be guided in the ways that bring You joy, a way that my service will be desirable in Your eyes, but I also want to hear that You love me, and that there is a space for me to show You that I love You! So while You, at Mt. Sinai, gave me a list of ten do's and don'ts, I am standing here in the beginning of Mishpatim and telling you that I want to serve You as a servant that says: "I love my Master, I love my Wife, I love my Children, I will not go out free... I shall serve for ever / v'avdo l'olam" (Shmot / Exodus 21:5-6). I am grateful to serve You, I am grateful for the relationships and people in my life, I am grateful for the fruits of my love that I am able to actualize - whether these are actual children or other actualizations of a labor-of-love that I manifest in my actions. I want to be Your 'Eved Olam' / I want to be Your Eternal Service-Person-Child / I want to be Your Eternal Loved-and-Loving one.
This is my love letter that I bring into this week's Torah portion, T'rumah. Our reading begins with: "And God spoke to Moshe, saying, Speak to the children of Yisrael that they bring me an offering of every man whose heart prompts him to give you shall take my offering." (Shmot / Exodus 25:1-2). I confess, my theology has a space reserved for an element of the revealed God that is lacking and is in need of 'an offering.' With this, I will tell you, most commentators of the Torah have a deep need to interpret this verse as saying "for My Name / for My Sake," God forbid not for God, for Godself... Rashi, the medieval commentator, (1040-1105) goes down this path of "for My Name" and adds that the offering-of-the-heart is meant to come from a place of goodwill / 'ratzone tov', of generosity of spirit. I would like to suggest that the offering is a mean, a representation, a manifestation or a symbol of one's love.
It is here that I would like to point out that the path to "Shma Yisrael Hashem Elokei'nu Hashem Echad / Hear O' Yisrael, God is God, God is One" (D'varim / Deuteronomy 6:4) that we say every morning is paved with love! In the paragraph leading up to our proclamation of our commitment to God, of our devotion to God and God's Oneness, we ascend through eight arches of love:
- ahavatolam / with eternal love (yes, as a chassidah I pray in accordance with the S'fard / Ha'Ari rendition)
- ahavtanu / You loved us
- ...et kol divrei talmud tora'tech b'ahava / ... all the words of Your Torah's teaching with love
- v'yached l'vaveinu l'ahava / and unify our hearts to love
- v'karav'tanu... l'shimcha ...b'ahava / and You... have brought us close... to your Great Name... in love
- u'l'yached'cha b'ahava / to proclaim Your Oneness in love
- u'l'ahava et sh'mecha / and to love Your Name
- ha'bocher b'amo Yisrael b'ahava / Who chooses His People Yisrael with love
It is here, in the mingling of our love and God's love that the proclamation of Oneness can be birthed into the world. But it is not only the Oneness of the Divine, it is also the Oneness of our existence within the Divine and in service of the Divine.
If you are to ask me how can we bring such offerings to God in our day, I would suggest that it manifests in the love that we hold ourselves in, the love we perpetuate in the world and share with others, the love of God that we embody and proclaim. I would suggest to actively embrace specific acts of love on any and all of these realms.
For today, for me, this takes the form of a letter that I will send myself, I send right now to you as an intention of love, and I'll offer my Maker:
"For today,
Sending you my love,
Sending you my eyes that witness and cry with you,
Sending you my arms that will hold you forever,
Sending you my faith in your ability to heal and be healed,
Sending you my commitment to never walk away and always walk with...
And tomorrow, I'll be here to send them to you again..."
Please, in the name of / for the sake of loving and being loved, take a moment before this Shabbat descends in Her Glory, and share this love with yourself, with someone who needs to hear this from you. And yes, God too needs to hear the voice of your heart offering your love to God!
Shabbat shalom!